it's fall. i was talking to a friend tonight briefly about what we both love about fall, why we love it. right now, fall in santa barbara means a shift in the weather, a cooler crispness to the air, some leaves (not many) on the ground, and today, rain. not heavy rain, but rain.
i know it's fall because i hear the wind. i hear damp leaves being blown around in the cold night air outside my door. in the air, i smell the plants giving over to the change of seasons. leaves falling, rotting, becoming earth. i sense the trees going dormant, the gardens shriveling up, the ground getting fallow and sleepy, ready for winter. i pile another blanket on the bed, close the windows i have had open all summer, and i feel the dread in me of longer nights, less sunlight. i feel myself shrinking inward, wanting to get into the warmth of hearth and home, out of the darkness and cold.
fall is about going inside, turning inward. i love this and need it on a deep level, though at the same time, i grieve the loss of the light and time outdoors, face turned upward, heart turned outward. now is time to reflect, recharge, and hibernate, later to emerge into the glorious sunlight once more.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
questioning a blog
long time, no bloggy. i know. i say it every time i come back from a lapse. but i think this time, i get why i go away and then come back.
i think this blog no longer matches what i want/need to write about. there is a shift in me, whether planetary or just in terms of my own personal growth path, from what this blog has been about in the past. this blog seemed a dumping ground for me in my path as a mother. a place both to ponder and wax poetic about motherhood, but also, and more often, a place to whine, complain, seek guidance, or just dump all my grief, pain and tiredness that i collected along the mothering path.
so my quandry now is this: do i start a new blog or do i shift this one to match my own shifting? i would feel more energized by a new blog, give it a fresh facelift and start anew. but i started this one as a tribute to my path with Sophia, a legacy to hand her one day that she could read thru and get a glimpse of a time in her life which she may not have clear memories of. so why not show all the twists and turns that path contained? why not keep the good and the bad together, as a real composite picture?
i'm leaning toward that latter option, just riding it out. i might give it a new design to help infuse new energy and reflect how i really feel in my journey right now. it is in its 2nd graphical look since inception anyway. i've changed my hair color at least that many times since i started this blog, so why not the design too!
ok i talked myself into it. new look on the way. but i really have to make sure that i don't let the energy of what i know is lurking in the archives drag me down. because i really want to keep writing here. so if a new blog is what will help me keep coming back, then i might have to keep that option on the back burner. but for now, i re-commit to the original intention of this blog. onward!!
i think this blog no longer matches what i want/need to write about. there is a shift in me, whether planetary or just in terms of my own personal growth path, from what this blog has been about in the past. this blog seemed a dumping ground for me in my path as a mother. a place both to ponder and wax poetic about motherhood, but also, and more often, a place to whine, complain, seek guidance, or just dump all my grief, pain and tiredness that i collected along the mothering path.
so my quandry now is this: do i start a new blog or do i shift this one to match my own shifting? i would feel more energized by a new blog, give it a fresh facelift and start anew. but i started this one as a tribute to my path with Sophia, a legacy to hand her one day that she could read thru and get a glimpse of a time in her life which she may not have clear memories of. so why not show all the twists and turns that path contained? why not keep the good and the bad together, as a real composite picture?
i'm leaning toward that latter option, just riding it out. i might give it a new design to help infuse new energy and reflect how i really feel in my journey right now. it is in its 2nd graphical look since inception anyway. i've changed my hair color at least that many times since i started this blog, so why not the design too!
ok i talked myself into it. new look on the way. but i really have to make sure that i don't let the energy of what i know is lurking in the archives drag me down. because i really want to keep writing here. so if a new blog is what will help me keep coming back, then i might have to keep that option on the back burner. but for now, i re-commit to the original intention of this blog. onward!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Help!
Not sure I even have readers out there anymore, but I am stuck. Sophia started kindergarten last month, and comes home in tears almost every day. Usually because of older kids teasing her, mainly because she doesn't know how to fit in to this huge school full of so many kids from so many backgrounds and who really don't want to play with a kindergartner. She's in a K-1 class at one of our local alternative charter schools, but it's still so hard. There are rough, mean kids in her class. They tease relentlessly. They steal stuff from her backpack. She should stay away, but she is drawn like a moth to the flame, wanting to play with these older kids. But they want no part of a little kid hanging out with them.
She also attends the afterschool program, since as a single mom, I need to be working to support us. So it's a long day for her. At 3pm, the older kids (up to 3rd grade) join the afterschool program and then there are even more big kids for her to be drawn to. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But I am ready to challenge my status quo. Do I really need to work fulltime? Do I have it in me to do what it takes? And what, precisely, does it take? I know so many of my friends have done it, but how? I have no idea where to begin and I am soooo not used to not knowing that. I have a good paying 9-5 job, really good for this area. And this is one of the most expensive places in the US to live, so it's not like I can just start knitting from home for income. I don't know what to do.
If anyone has ideas for me on how to transition into homeschooling, please send along. I really appreciate it!
She also attends the afterschool program, since as a single mom, I need to be working to support us. So it's a long day for her. At 3pm, the older kids (up to 3rd grade) join the afterschool program and then there are even more big kids for her to be drawn to. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But I am ready to challenge my status quo. Do I really need to work fulltime? Do I have it in me to do what it takes? And what, precisely, does it take? I know so many of my friends have done it, but how? I have no idea where to begin and I am soooo not used to not knowing that. I have a good paying 9-5 job, really good for this area. And this is one of the most expensive places in the US to live, so it's not like I can just start knitting from home for income. I don't know what to do.
If anyone has ideas for me on how to transition into homeschooling, please send along. I really appreciate it!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Apricot Peach Cobbler
A friend gave me a huge bag of fresh apricots and 3 peaches picked from her backyard today. Way more apricots than we could possibly eat, and quite a few of them were very ripe, so they needed to be made into something. So I consulted 3 different cobbler recipes (2 found on Foodlab, thanks Cyndi and Nittany) and one from a gluten-free cookbook. I then made up my own recipe, to account for my personal tastes and improvisation due to not having all the ingredients.
Two notes for you to factor in with your own personal tastes:
1. Some recipes call for adding sugar or starch to the fruit filling, but I really think fresh fruit needs no additional sweetening, and don't mind the juiciness. However, if you like a thicker, more pie-like filling, you might consider adding sugar and/or starch to the fruit first.
2. I wanted a topping that was sort of nut meal-y/oatmeal-y (without oats) and that was also sort of cake-y/crumble-y. I'm happy to say that my 5 year old actually asked if there was oatmeal in it, so I think I achieved that goal.
I am making up words left and right here, but let's just say it's part of the creative process of making up a recipe. And for the record, this is my first ever recording of a recipe of my own invention, so I am a little nervous about others trying it, but here goes! It's also my first food photography, so some are blurry.
Apricot Peach Cobbler
This recipe is vegan and is gluten, dairy, egg, soy and corn free!
Filling:
- 26 apricots, 3 peaches (freshly picked)
- 1 orange (or a lemon would work too)
- Ground cinnamon
1. Cut apricots in quarters, and slice peaches (cut so all are even-sized chunks).
2. Spray rectangle baking pan with canola or other non-stick spray.
3. Spread fruit evenly across bottom of pan.
4. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
5. Squeeze the juice of lemon or orange over the fruit (I did this to offset the sweetness of the apricots, I wanted it to be a little more tart. If you use more peaches and less apricots, you might not need the citrus juice).
6. Set aside. Preheat oven to 375.
Topping:
- 1/3 cup vegetable shortening (I used palm shortening)
- 1/4 cup organic raw sugar (optional)
- 1/2 cup each of potato starch, flaxseed meal and finely ground walnuts (or preferred nut)
- 1/4 tsp gluten-free baking soda
- 1.5 tsp xantham gum
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 gluten-free vanilla
- 1/2 to 2/3 cup milk (I used almond milk)
- 1 to 2 tbs honey
1. Mix together all ingredients except milk and honey by hand.
2. Slowly add milk and honey until consistency is thick, sticky, but smooth (like thick biscuit batter).
3. Drop the batter all over the top of the fruit in the pan, either by the spoonful or by hand.
4. Bake 15-18 minutes or until topping is lightly browned. Allow to cool and serve slightly warm, with ice cream (soy dream, rice dream, etc) if desired.
Turned out really tasty! It gets less liquid-y the cooler you let it get. I highly recommend serving with tea in tiny princess teacups and serving at a tea party in your daughter's bedroom. Wearing evening gowns, high heels and tiaras, of course.
Two notes for you to factor in with your own personal tastes:
1. Some recipes call for adding sugar or starch to the fruit filling, but I really think fresh fruit needs no additional sweetening, and don't mind the juiciness. However, if you like a thicker, more pie-like filling, you might consider adding sugar and/or starch to the fruit first.
2. I wanted a topping that was sort of nut meal-y/oatmeal-y (without oats) and that was also sort of cake-y/crumble-y. I'm happy to say that my 5 year old actually asked if there was oatmeal in it, so I think I achieved that goal.
I am making up words left and right here, but let's just say it's part of the creative process of making up a recipe. And for the record, this is my first ever recording of a recipe of my own invention, so I am a little nervous about others trying it, but here goes! It's also my first food photography, so some are blurry.
Apricot Peach Cobbler
This recipe is vegan and is gluten, dairy, egg, soy and corn free!
Filling:
- 26 apricots, 3 peaches (freshly picked)
- 1 orange (or a lemon would work too)
- Ground cinnamon
1. Cut apricots in quarters, and slice peaches (cut so all are even-sized chunks).
2. Spray rectangle baking pan with canola or other non-stick spray.
3. Spread fruit evenly across bottom of pan.
4. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
5. Squeeze the juice of lemon or orange over the fruit (I did this to offset the sweetness of the apricots, I wanted it to be a little more tart. If you use more peaches and less apricots, you might not need the citrus juice).
6. Set aside. Preheat oven to 375.
Topping:
- 1/3 cup vegetable shortening (I used palm shortening)
- 1/4 cup organic raw sugar (optional)
- 1/2 cup each of potato starch, flaxseed meal and finely ground walnuts (or preferred nut)
- 1/4 tsp gluten-free baking soda
- 1.5 tsp xantham gum
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 gluten-free vanilla
- 1/2 to 2/3 cup milk (I used almond milk)
- 1 to 2 tbs honey
1. Mix together all ingredients except milk and honey by hand.
2. Slowly add milk and honey until consistency is thick, sticky, but smooth (like thick biscuit batter).
3. Drop the batter all over the top of the fruit in the pan, either by the spoonful or by hand.
4. Bake 15-18 minutes or until topping is lightly browned. Allow to cool and serve slightly warm, with ice cream (soy dream, rice dream, etc) if desired.
Turned out really tasty! It gets less liquid-y the cooler you let it get. I highly recommend serving with tea in tiny princess teacups and serving at a tea party in your daughter's bedroom. Wearing evening gowns, high heels and tiaras, of course.
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