First thing, it looks like all signs were pointing all day that I was not going out tonight. Had a Mom's Night Out and a babysitter planned for a month. Then at 3 pm, the sitter called in sick. For an hour, I call the other 4 sitters I know, no one is free. At 4 pm Sophia said her tummy hurts. At 5 pm a friend calls and offers her babysitter. At 5:15, Sophia pukes all over me, she obviously has the stomach bug that had me down and out for 2 full days earlier in the week. So I wasn't supposed to find a sitter or go out, my baby needed me home. Clear as a bell, cool to see how the universe just spells things out if we're listening.
So what does this whole rent my house drama mean?? Signs...are they signs? I decide to move after what seems like the biggest sign (a marble in my right breast, that's braille you don't want to be reading). See sign, read sign, act on sign...check. Universe starts to unfold with job opportunities in new location, friends opening their doors to me, Uhaul being MEGA-cheaper one way to CA than out of it (welcome to the hotel cal-i-fornia...you can check in anytime you like....). All signs seem to be blazing ahead bck to Santa Barbara. OK so then what's all this garbage: 2 different renters fill out applications, even pay $40 per adult (that's been $120 so far) for app fees, then they bail out. So far, I have no one to rent my place. If I don't find someone, I'm holding the bag for the rent here, so I can't leave. I can't afford rent in two places, and have invested so much planning in this Feb 1st thing that I am counting on my deposit refund and don't really have enough to even make the full rent here in Feb. Blah...what does it all mean? Slow down? It's weird, I have had two distinct times now in a week thinking I've got a tenant, I'm about to announce my move date, then BAM, they back out. Then it happened again, today. Does any of it really mean anything?
It's a cute house, right? Come on someone, rent this baby!!I was being such a true believer in signs earlier. Now I'm back to my bah humbug approach and "nothing means anything" attitude. I'm breathing. Taking big deep ones and trying to just allow the universe to part the waters, show me the way. I'm lumping stuff in boxes and proceeding mentally as if my plan is manifesting and I just have to get out of the way and let it happen. But I also feel a bit like a fool and wondering if Craigslist is just not enough, should I be paying out more money to advertise the house, etc? Putting up cute little signs with tear offs of my phone # in coffeeshops? (Gawd please tell me those days are over?!) I mean, come on, am I supposed to be putting up signs or just reading them as they are handed down to me from on high?
I guess sometimes, we all just need a healthy dose of feeling the fool to get our perspective on straight. Right?
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