In case you missed it in the last post, Sophia has now met her half sister Bianca. Bianca is 7, lives in Denmark. She and Sophia share 2 of the most distinctive things about themselves: an on-again/off-again traveling Dad and severe eczema resulting from wheat and dairy allergy. Likely the two things they will wish they could change about themselves. Now they have just met someone who shares their exact own pain.
They've not met in the past for two reasons, what with that giant Atlantic separating them and then because the mother was very upset when Riccardo had another child with another woman, and she was reticent to even tell Bianca about Sophia, let alone meet us. But each girl, both an only child of a single mother, have longed so desperately for a sibling and for simply "more" family. We convinced Maria (Bianca's mom) to let the girls meet when they came to the US for a visit this month. We had one weekend together last week, and are about to have another tomorrow. Then they will return to Denmark and we will miss them too, along with Riccardo, who will go back to Europe for another 8-9 months.
We all got along very well. At first there was the obstacle that neither girl expected, which was the language barrier. Bianca has learned a scant few words in English thus far, and we tried to learn a little Danish in a 30 minute crash course, but of course none of it stuck when we met them. Both girls had expectations of a sister, which did not include not being able to talk to each other, so they were a little unsettled by that. But Bianca started picking up English like a wildfire, which was great.
After that, it was just intense. Very, very big emotions. It was either a super fun and exciting big sisterly love-fest, or then just one small thing, a stubbed toe, or finding out the sherbert at the ice cream store on the wharf had dairy in it, and each girl would take turns bursting into tears and absolute meltdown. Feelings were raw and at the surface. For both, this is just what they have always wanted, to spend fun, quality time with both of their parents together, as well as with a sister. But it was a true testament to the tricky nature of getting exactly what you've always wished for. It was so overwhelming for Sophia, combined with too much sugar and no napping all weekend. She was maxed out. I've been brain dead all week, vegging in front of the TV every night after work.
And we're about to do it again this weekend too. Whoosh. I am not sure I am ready for it, but we'll manage. And then they will all go away and we will miss Daddy for a while, probably have potty accidents for a few weeks (just Sophia, I hope, but who knows about me!!), and then we will get back to our nice quiet life, just a mama and her girl. Like we always are.
Interesting final note, I asked Sophia this week if she wished she had a daddy that was always here with us. She first said yes, and said "because then mommy you wouldn't have to do everything and you wouldn't have to pay for everything." Not sure where and how she picked up on the money thing...so other than me being sad that finances have invaded her little brain on some level, I was so touched that she understood or empathized a little how it is for me. But then, to add to the moment, she said "but usually I like it when it's just you and me." You could have knocked me over with a feather! I've never considered that maybe she is happy with it this way. I am always angst and guilt ridden worrying about this weird life I've set up for her, worrying about needing to fill the daddy gap, etc. But maybe, just maybe, sometimes she doesn't feel a gap at all.
Ahhh....
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