gypsies and vagabonds

One response I got recently asked if moving again might be traumatic for Sophia. I wanted to think about this a bit. Now, I am taking this advice with a grain of salt, because this is a friend without kids, who does not know Sophia well at all, nor me really anymore (we used to be close before I became a mom). But I do wonder about it, and it is always hard to think of how my actions could negatively impact my child. So I'd love to hear if anyone else has thoughts on this.

My friend Lauren said "Sophia needs a happy mama, whether broke in SB or not." And I do have to say I tend to agree with this perspective much more than worrying about possible negatives. Moms worry all the time, and I think its one of the least healthy things we can do for our children. At her age, a move will only be traumatic for Sophia if it is for me. And I have seen her become much more relaxed and happy in the past few days since I have gotten more at peace about wherever we are. She went to school today joyfully, not crying and resisting, as she has for weeks. I have seen since infancy how much more affected she is by the internal climate between us than anything external in our lives.

I don't want to instill early gypsy roots in the girl, I know moving a lot as a kid was hard for me. She does have it in her genes with a nomadic father and a mother known for occasional bouts of needing to learn life's lessons the hands-on way. Not to mention fairy godmother Pema, also well known for her wanderlust, and our countless other friendships with kindred travelers and seekers along the path (you know who you are!). I also vaguely remember the two years I lived in North Carolina (when I was 8-9 years old) as being very unsettling and unhappy for me. I remember good stuff too, but I remember this inner sense of not belonging, going around our neighborhood trying to make new friends. My mom told me recently that she and my dad were both unhappy there and longed to go back closer to their family. So I think even in my really disconnected family, there is something to the fact that I really picked up on their emotions and when we moved back to a situation more stable and secure for them, I remember it as the best place we ever lived. Velly velly interesting....