i'm looking for a place to live in santa barbara, my homeland. y'all know that. so as it usually goes in this little big town, i got a word-of-mouth referral about a house for rent. 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. walking distance to preschool. small but nice. just a regular looking house with aluminum siding, with very little of the charm you can usually find around here. funky details inside, not quite cute details, just funky. no garage, but a big, water-tight storage shed as well as a detached art studio space with electricity. it could be just storage, but it has a nice big picture window overlooking the spacious back yard, window is framed by cactus and aloe plants...far too inspiring for simply storing boxes!so the backyard is about as much square footage as the house: one third is a covered patio, in red Satillo tile; two thirds is grass bordered by raised garden beds, oak, palm & lemon trees, with the backdrop of a steep but very picturesque oak and nasturtium covered hillside. this backyard and the art studio, these are the things that make the house. the things that i want for my daughter and i. the things that make me start to consider paying rent of $2000 per month.
then i step back and think whoa nelly, what the hell? two grand a month? to rent someone else's house? with their ugly carpet choices and their unwillingness to part from stark white walls? where i come from, paying even half of that is considered a mortgage on a very nice house. add that to the fact that i've been struggling to pay $1000-1200 for the last 4 years. what then possesses me to start even thinking about $2000?
it's that yard that's seducing me. how sophia's room has french doors leading right out to it. how there is no other house behind it, just the wilderness coming down to meet its neighbors. plus some spaces for us. sophia to have her own room. me to have a studio again.
i shake the fairy dust out of my eyes, blink a few times and realize i need to keep looking. for $2000, i'm finding THE perfect place, not a bunch of weird details to "settle" on. for $2300, i could likely find a 3 bed/2 bath spot, something easier to rent a room out and share the rent. Or for $1200 maybe i can still find a one bedroom in this town and I get a nice futon couch and give Sophia the bedroom, like many single moms i know in this town.
next time you see me, remind me to not give up the dream for that little piece of land for me and my little piece of girl to set our roots down in and bloom.
it's out there, right?
Hey momma!
ReplyDeleteHave you written out a list describing your home?? It is a phenomenal tool for getting what you're looking for. Someone described it as a way to tell the universe what to send you =) Plus it helps you recognize it when you see it. Be really specific, it can be startling how specific things can come to you. I had dreamed of a sewing room with french doors opening out to the back yard and amlost passed out when we were looking at the backyard of this place and I turned around and saw my studio.
Oh, and it works for relationships, too!